The Lady Of Misselthwaite
by sweetlygleaming
Summary: AU. What if it was Lord Archibald Craven who died in the garden and Lady Lilias Craven was left to mourn him? (Similar writing style to my story The Glimmer of Bliss with a somewhat different plotline...*Caution: Dr. Neville Craven is a villain.)
1. Chapter 1

Lord Archibald Craven's hand cradled the back of his Lady Lilias's head as he tenderly and lovingly lay her back upon the sheets of the grand bed in her ethereal quarters at Misselthwaite. He could not have been gentler or sweeter to her as he moved his body over her and began to kiss her-gracefully and kindly. His kisses seemed to form a map upon her face and then her body- a path of kisses upon her. Lilias's eyes lit up with the beauty of a constant and true reciprocation of glorious love for him. So joyous were she and Archie in the movements of their bodies as they made love! Their bodies seemed to gently dance as one, as they were truly connected in every sense-body and soul. As their bodies were joined, they glanced into each other's eyes with glittering happiness reaching the depths of each other's soul. They could not help but smile at each other with each gentle thrust. They moved so rhythmically in unison together. Sweet smiles never left their faces. They rejoiced in the warmth of true intimacy.

As the night passed, neither husband nor wife had any desire to stop holding each other. They rested in each other's arms.

Lord Archibald Craven and Lady Lilias Craven were married for more than a year now. Their true and pure, beautiful love was a mystery to all who heard of Misselthwaite. Lord Archibald Craven was a hunchback who lived hidden away from the world at his estate for most of his life before a chance meeting with his Lady love would change his life forever. She gave him hope and life he'd never known. She seemed to bathe him with a love so ethereal and divine, it cleansed him of all misery and pain. It redeemed him. Not many believed she could love him as she did, but she did so with all of her being-body, heart, and soul. She never wanted to be parted from him.

"Archie?"

Lilias had his attention.

She began to stroke his face.

"You're... beautiful." She whispered.

He chuckled as if to mock her statement.

"You needn't say such a thing, my angel. Do not feel you have to compliment me, my love. It is only you who are deserving of such praise."

Archie as could be comprehended, was self-deprecating.

But, Lord Archibald Craven did have strikingly handsome features-the deepest and most soulful eyes dark as night, dark hair, pale skin, a tall and quite thin and slender form...but-his back was crooked and his shoulders misshapen due to a severe deformity of the spine. This deformity in turn affected his legs and hips and garnered cruel attention, looks, and glares whilst in public. Though he was a young man in his early 30's, he required a cane to keep his balance walking. In the days of his past, he lived in severe pain. Lilias's love seemed to quell all pain. Lord Archibald Craven's brother Dr. Neville Craven also lived at Misselthwaite-his and Archie's ancestral family estate. Often, he treated Archie as some medical experiment. He knew his brother was eager to find a remedy for his condition and would not hesitate to aquiesce to every trial medication or treatment. Lilias did not like that. She feared complications and often chided and admonished Neville for treating her husband like some animal or pitiful creature.

Neville Craven worshipped his brother's wife; lusted after her, but kept his feelings hidden from both Archie and Lilias. Little did his brother Archie know that he was scheming to find a way to inherit he estate. Perhaps, he could deem Archie unfit in health to be heir/Lord of it.

Lilias replied to Archie, "I see you, and... you're beautiful." Her hand came to rest upon his chest as she looked into his eyes."

They kissed so tenderly and romantically.

...

Since Lilias became Archie's bride, Misselthwaite seemed to come alive with enchantment.

Archie gave his lovely wife a secret, walled garden as a wedding present. They built it up together and did the planting together to transform it into a very grand, secret kingdom of a place. The couple would lock themselves in like two lovebirds for hours and hours. Sometimes, the servants wondered where they'd gone to for so long and started looking for them.

Early one morning, Archie complained of pain in his chest and experienced shortness of breath. Lilias advised him to rest and stay in bed, but he brushed her concern off with a gentle kiss assuring her there was nothing serious to worry about as pain was commonly associated with his back condition. He wanted to venture out into the garden with her.

Lilias was promenading her garden with Archie at first so at peace in their earthly elysium, when unimaginable tragedy struck.

Archie began to suddenly gasp and sharply moan in pain, become short of breath, and begin to cough. He coughed up blood and collapsed as if in slow motion to the ground. Lilias felt as if she were frozen in shock. Her senses were gone. In such a sudden rush of frightful worry, she lost control of her auditory faculties. Her fear temporarily deafened her. She heard nothing-silence until she tried her best to speak to him.

"Archie? Archie, my love? Archie." She placed a hand over his chest as he lay on the ground.

She didn't want to leave him, but she needed to run to get help. However, just as she attempted, she noticed the head gardener-Ben Weatherstaff-approached. Thank goodness they left the garden's door unlocked that day.

"Ben! Run to the house! Fetch Dr. Craven! Tell him Archie's collapsed...a medical emergency! Immediately, please!"

Archie could only whisper but longed to speak to his wife.

"Lily, my angel, I love you so. Could you ever know how you have redeemed me? You are so precious to me. So very dear. Could you ever know...how much...I love you."

With that he lost consciousness, and his heart beat for the last time. It was a strikingly sudden and tragic happening.

."Nooo! No. Archie, no. My love? You cannot leave me." She spoke tearfully in shock.

"Archie!" She cried loudly. "Archie," She whimpered softly.

"Noo," She sobbed into his chest.

When Dr. Craven and Ben returned, they saw Lilias just lying over Lord Archibald Craven's lifeless body.

Ben choked up. Neville stared at the ground. He was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

A dark cloud settled over the house as the butler called the staff together in a meeting below stairs to tell them of the unbelievably tragic circumstances of the death of Lord Craven.

Medlock upon the delivery of the news fled from the room to hide her grief, but it was promptly evident to all that she was distraught near inconsolable.

"Aisling, I knew the Master, since he were a boy. A kinder, though sad and lonely boy, I never saw. He was a such a sad little angel of a lad. Could fate be crueler to him? And now... He was blissfully happy with her. My God, their love! She loved him to infinity, but I blame her. She had no regard for his fragile state of health. Too spirited. Treating him as if his body was perfect. Their should've been restrictions and limits upon his exertions...especially outdoors in that garden."

Days later, a medical examiner discussed with Dr. Neville Craven the determination that the cause of death was in fact a blood clot in his lungs...which may have formed as a side-effect to a prescribed trial medication. In addition, it was discovered that his heart was enlarged.

Neville stared in shock-in shock of the responsibility and guilt that crept over him, and that he held subconsciously in his mind and heart.

Nearly Two months later...

"Look, Milady. Do you see?" Aisling gestured towards Lilias's bedroom window. "The sun's shining over the moor. Don't you long to take a walk outside? Breathe the fresh air?"

Lilias lay on her side in her bed listening but not replying to her ladiesmaid's remarks. Lilias spoke as little as possible in the weeks since Archie's death. Her days were spent crying or a melancholy trance of silence.

No one could get Lilias out of bed. She'd confined herself to her quarters. She was of a mind that all of the minimal requirements to carry on living could be conducted within her quarters. The servants brought her food up to her, though she ate meager portions. All rituals of hygiene and bodily functions could be confined to those quarters or in the en suite bath.

Suddenly, a wave of nausea came over her. She vomited. Then again and again. Aisling rushed to her and held her hair back as she soothed her.

Aisling sent for Lilias's personal physician.

Aisling waited outside during the examination.

Just before the doctor left the house, Aisling saw him speaking to Medlock.

"Mrs. Medlock, tell me, please. What is it?"

Medlock looked at Aisling with marvelled satisfaction.

"She is withchild."

Aisling was in awe.

She climbed the wooden staircase back up to Lilias's quarters and gently drew aside the tapestry to pass through to the bedroom.

There she caught sight of Lilias lying on the bed tenderly caressing her belly.


	3. Chapter 3

The tiny miracle growing within her womb gave Lilias a reason to be strong, more will to carry on living- to give the child of her and Archie's love the best life she could. Her heart was already filled with love for this baby. Love against heartache. The news was a sparkle of joy over gloom. She was heartbroken that her life would continue without Archie; that the child would never know its father. But, this baby would be the renewal of joy in her life-an ever-present reminder of the power of her and Lord Craven's glorious love.

Everyone knew Lilias never wanted to see the secret garden again, but perhaps she would now be encouraged to leave her own quarters to venture out to the other parts of the manor and grounds, perhaps even the village.

...

One person who would be quite negatively impacted insofar as it was a threat to his grand scheme was Dr. Neville Craven. If this baby was a boy, he could no longer be deemed Master of Misselthwaite, as he inherited Misselthwaite upon Archie's death. The heir would now be Lilias's son.

The news was broken to Dr. Neville Craven, and he was none too happy to hear of it.

"Damn, Archie! God damn him! And his little hellspawn demon!" Neville roared.

He was irate in his study in the presence of one of his colleagues.

"Steady on, Neville! No one can be certain it's a boy. Girls don't inherit, you know."

Neville threw back glass by glass of port drinking heavily.

"It's not simply that. Don't you understand? I'm in love with her! I've always been in love with her... Lilias! What a fool I am. I've clung to the notion that perhaps their marriage was never consummated. How could she desire him? Why ever him over me?"

"Well, after the child is born, will you woo her then? You must pursue her affections then. Since he's gone, it should be easier to win her. That is, if you still desire her."

Neville was silent, but he looked as if he were lost in thought.

...

Lilias for the first time since her husband's death clothed herself in something other than her dressing gowns and nightgowns.

Lilias set out for Thwaite Village. She wanted to confide in a local village woman-Susan Sowerby, whom she had met in the first days of her marriage to Archie, who was a midwife and a mother of many, many children herself, regarding healthy pregnancy dietary plans and other matters so to ease her fear and discomfort.

Lilias certainly ate better for the sake of the child she carried.

Another week passed, and Lilias still took her meals in bed, but she had the strangest desire to walk the corridors of Misselthwaite.

She found herself journeying to the wing of Archie's personal quarters and his study.

The door to his dressing room was unlocked. She went straight to his wardrobe and withdrew a coat of his and put her arms through its sleeves and pulled it on and over her back. She wrapped her arms around herself as if to embrace its comfort and to imagine herself embracing and holding Archie.

She walked over to Archie's study. Strangely, the door was ajar.

She entered cautiously slightly spooked by this and was alarmed to see Neville seated at his desk.

"Neville! You gave me a fright. I didn't expect to see you here."

"Nor I you, Lilias!" Neville answered. He then stared over her body as if questioning why she wore Archie's coat.

Lilias knew what he questioned and spoke with the first excuse that came to mind.

"Oh...only I was taking a walk about the house, and I was...cold." She crossed her coat-clad arms and rubbed her hands along the sides slowly.

"Indeed? Well, it is good to see you moving about." Then Neville considered if that statement could be rendered offensive to her. "Forgive me if that was insensitive of me."

He paused as Lilias's eyes seem to glaze over with emotion.

Then he continued, "I understand I am to congratulate you. It's a wondrous thing."

Lilias bowed her head slightly in acknowledgement.

"This baby-Archie and mine...This beautiful gift of life within me...This baby is my joy."

Lilias noticed Neville had lots of papers he seemed to have been perusing on the desk in front of him. She then realized the contents were documentation of the financial management of the estate. She realized Neville was Master now but would he be for long?

"Please, excuse me." Lilias turned and left placing one hand upon her belly when she walked away down the corridor. There her hand rested in a guarding, protective manner though she was not yet showing in figure.


	4. Chapter 4

*Lilias dreaming...*

 _She entered the grand ballroom on the rooftop of Misselthwaite._

 _All eyes were fixed on her. She looked down to notice her belly was now large-a growing baby within. Archie stood at the center of the dance floor. He took her hand and kissed it. The noise of the crowd talking grew louder and louder. She listened for music to waltz with Archie, but she couldn't hear it. The noise of the crowd talking was deafening. She was anxious to be on cue to dance-listened and listened for music to no avail. She had already assumed a dance waltz hold position with Archie._

 _"Archie," she spoke trying to talk over the crowd. "I can't hear our music."_

 _Archie was looking at her so sweetly and lovingly, "Nor can I." He answered loudly back._

 _Suddenly, the crowd started laughing and pointing at them and gesturing towards-and also pointing at- Lilias's belly._

 _"Archie, I'm frightened," she said._

 _The ballroom began to spin like a carousel._

 _Archie's arms broke the dance hold to envelope her, wrapping around her as if to protect her._

 _"Don't be afraid." He said. He held her to him sweetly-arms embracing and shielding her and tucking his head down sweetly over her shoulder._

 _Lilias buried her face against him. She breathed in his familiar and comforting warm, masculine woody yet mildly sweet cologne-the familiar scents of Cedarwood, driftwood, Cinnamon bark and subtle hints of amber._

 _The ballroom continued to spin and spin. Lilias clung to Archie. She moaned in fear._

 _The crowd kept laughing._

 _..._

 _"hhhhhhh" Lilias shot up in her bed awaking with a gasp._

 _She surveyed her surroundings catching sight of her and Archie's wedding portrait. She stood before it and found herself staring at Archie's eyes almost in such a trance standing in front of that picture that she had not noticed that Medlock had carried in her breakfast. How Lilias missed those deep, dark, soulful eyes! Medlock saw her there standing and staring at the picture._

 _"Milady. Milady? Milady!" She used 3 different tones of voice to get Lilias's attention and break her concentration._

 _Lilias jumped with a little shock and turned around._

 _"Oh," Lilias responded, "forgive me, Medlock. I've dreamed of my Archie...Lord Craven."_


	5. Chapter 5

Lilias remained in her quarters for the day. Medlock called to her from beyond the bedroom's tapestry at the entrance.

"Milady, Dr. Craven is here-asking after you."

"Forgive me, I am in no state to see anyone." Lilias responded.

Neville was standing there with Medlock listening.

"Lilias, please allow me to inquire after your health."

"Sir, I...very well. You and Medlock both may enter."

Lilias lay in bed feeling self-conscious drawing the coverlets higher up over her chest.

"Medlock tells me you've been feeling ill...vomiting much...the inconvenience of pregnancy. I have a prescription for you to abate that. Medlock will mix you a powder to drink. You will experience less nausea."

"Thank you. It's passed. That is not necessary today." Lilias lowered her hands from holding the covers against her.

Neville took that as an invitation to examine her. He drew her covers down and pressed his hands against her lower belly.

"Don't!" She was startled by his unwanted touch of her belly. "Dr. Craven, I...You will forgive me, as you know, I have my own private physician."

Both Medlock and Dr. Craven knew this but, as Dr. Craven was currently master of Misselthwaite, Medlock was obliged to obey his requests or orders.

He removed his hands from their place upon her, but he continued to speak to her about his concerns for her. Medlock handed him a small bound book and a pen for taking notes.

"Very well. I beg your pardon for taking the liberty of initiating an examination. You must understand it is out of concern for your good health as the mother of my brother's, the late Lord Craven's, child. You must know that your appetite needs to improve as well as your mind. Medlock tells me you've been having nightmares."

Lilias was silent. Her eyes sparkled with sadness.

"I have been eating better and trying to sleep more. I know it is needed for the good of the baby."

Neville kept writing-what he wrote Lilias did not know.

He exited with Medlock.

"Dr. Craven, she's been crying out and calling the late Lord Craven's name almost every night. I fear she's close to madness-mad with grief."

"We must monitor her more closely. I cannot drug her, Medlock. It's not good for the child.

"Of course not, Sir! I suggested nothing of the sort!"

"If only I could ease her sorrow."

Medlock was bewildered at his statement.

Neville tried forming an excuse for the slip of his words.

Aisling stood at the bottom of Lilias's staircase glaring at Medlock and Dr. Craven as they descended and passed her. She scurried up.

...

Tears streamed down Lilias's face. She used the palms of her hands to wipe away the tears, then spoke.

"Aisling, I've been thinking. There is much work to be done...to prepare the nursery."

"Yes, Milady."


	6. Chapter 6

Though many of the wood furnishings in the baby's nursery were handed down through generations, Lilias commissioned a London toymaker to make a rocking horse for future use and many other toys suitable for boy or girl, like teddy bears and rattles, wooden pull toys, and a variety toy animals. The walls were lined with tapestries of rhymes, folk, and fairytales. But perhaps the most wondrous feature of the nursery was the library of children's books set within its walls. Lilias had a painter paint the shelves with scenes from storybooks. Aisling organized the books on the shelves herself.

Time passed and Lilias was due to give birth in only a few months. Aisling was eager to reveal the finished nursery to her to give her a moment's happiness in her grieving for her Lord Craven.

Lilias's eyes were closed as the servants directed her through the door.

"Now! You may open your eyes, Milady!" Aisling smiled.

"It's...magical! I can't believe it! Like a fairy story come to life! I thank you all so very, very much! Marvellous work! I'm perfectly pleased. I love it! I couldn't have imagined a more wonderful room for the baby!"Medlock walked in and was stunned.

"I've only come to talk to you about considering hiring the Nanny for the baby."

"Medlock, I shall, but this Nanny must understand that her hours are to be strictly limited. I intend to spend as much time as possible with my child. I shall feed my own baby, rock my own baby to sleep, and take my child out into the gardens for a stroll myself. I shall read to my baby and sing my baby to sleep at night. I am the child's mother. I shall not have that role tossed aside for the sake of traditional societal noble class expectations and what is fashionable.

My baby deprived of its father in this life shall know its Mother!" Lilias spoke in her musical tone but with authority.

"Yes, Mum." Medlock replied shocked by Lilias's words.

...

Lilias and Aisling walked through the village marketplace shops. Lilias heavily pregnant strangely asked to accompany Aisling there. She decided perhaps she should get out into the air. Like in her dream, people were whispering and pointing at her belly.

One whispered, "Craven's beautiful widow. Finally, she's decided to show herself. Look, she's carrying his child."

"You sure you're all right for shopping, Milady? We can turn back." Aisling wondered how Lilias's grieving mind was processing this information.

Lilias placed a hand on her belly. "Yes, I'm fine."

Suddenly, one by one, a person would approach her without a word simply handing her a flower from the market bouquets in their baskets. Aisling had no idea Lilias's appearing in public would garner such a showering of flowers and sympathy.

Lilias overheard a child speaking.

"Mother, is that the Queen of Misselthwaite?"

"Lady of Misselthwaite. It hasn't a queen." The mother responded.

"Oh, I thought Misselthwaite was a palace."


	7. Chapter 7

Lilias burst into tears though she smiled as they lay her swaddled baby boy in her arms for the first time.

"It's a boy, Milady! You have a son!" Susan Sowerby and her ladiesmaid Aisling were at her side. Her physician Doctor Gibson guided the successful delivery. Medlock was also there though frantic with worry throughout the birth-running to and fro to fetch towels, ice, water, etc...

"Congratulations." Dr. Gibson said to her.

Lilias was overwhelmed with love for her baby as she met him for the first time in that moment.

"Colin...His name is...Colin." She stated in her musically light voice.

"He's a beautiful little'n." Mrs. Sowerby responded.

"He's perfect." Aisling spoke.

Medlock left the room quickly after catching a glimpse of the baby. She was instructed by Neville Craven to bring him word in his study-news of the birth.

"It's a boy, Sir. The child is a boy."

Neville rose calmly as if he were going to take the news like a gentleman but then was enraged in the next instant pushing a row of books off a bookshelf in his study.

"Please, Sir. Don't be vexed. Surely the law will allow that you act as Master until the child comes of age. For many years hence?

And, surely her ladyship will not turn you out into the street. I know she will allow you to stay and live here."

"How is he? The baby? Deformed? I must examine him myself."

."No, Sir. Doctor Gibson said well and strong. Would you think it be wise, Sir? I doubt her ladyship will give approval. Her trust for her own physician's opinions are perhaps greater than her trust of others."

"Medlock, the child is my nephew. Surely, she can be coaxed."

"Then there's this business of the Nanny..." Medlock paused to catch Neville Craven's expression.

"Yes?"

"Her ladyship intends to and insists upon feeding the baby herself and tending to him herself. Quite unorthodox if you ask me for a lady of the house," Medlock gave an uncomfortable chuckle, "will she intend to live in the nursery?" Sarcasm dripping from Medlock's words.

"Indeed...Extraordinary."

"Well, I of course also employed a Nanny to care for the child alongside her. The nanny will be there for the infant too, so that it's not solely herself that takes on all the burdens an infant can bring. Her ladyship also can be relieved when she has personal matters to attend to. She will be afforded a more proper rest from her motherly duties."

...

Several hours had passed since Lilias gave birth. Night had fallen. She finally allowed herself to fall asleep-to take a short nap before feeding Colin. Colin was sleeping in his cradle that was brought in next to her bed.

Neville discovered the Nanny's schedule effective immediately proceeding the birth. It was said there would be a few more hours to pass until she arrived. The hiring process for the Nanny was conducted so tediously and reflected upon so late into Lilias's pregnancy that arrangements could not be made for the Nanny to arrive any sooner. Medlock and several other servants including her trusted ladiesmaid Aisling were rotating places checking on Lilias and Baby Colin hourly until Nanny's arrival.

Neville crept in to the room as Lilias slept, stared at her determining that she did not wake to see him, and then turned to glimpse at the sleeping baby in the cradle. He touched the tiny bones of Colin's legs. He picked up the child and rubbed his fingers down the baby's spine. It was as if he was hoping the baby develop the same medical condition as its father.

Lilias awoke to what she perceived as a shadowed intruder. It was dark.

She gasped in shock and extreme fear, "Who are you? Please, don't harm us! I beg of you! Don't hurt my baby! Have you come to take him? Please, I beg you not to harm us!"

"Do not fear, Lilias. I am not an intruder. It is I-Neville." Neville answered her as he was dangling Colin and then propping him in his arms.

"Neville? What are you doing? Bring my baby- Colin-to me. Give him to me, please." Tears were gently flowing down her face. Neville did as she said. He did so in sympathy of her tears.

"You are too bold, Sir. You enter in to this room without my knowledge whilst I am asleep? In what world would any gentleman believe that respectful or appropriate? You are neither my husband nor my physician nor my child's physician. Surely, if you wished to visit him, you could have done so in the daylight-waited til morning."

"Lilias, please, calm yourself. You are quite pale and weak after giving birth. Truly, I apologise because my actions have distressed you. I thought it best to let you sleep. Have you not learned to trust me? As a member of the Craven family and a physician, I have nothing but the desire to tend to your health, and as the child's uncle and also a physician who resides here at Misselthwaite, I should be entitled to examine the child. You have not yet considered openly consulting me. Would you not welcome my medical opinions? I am the brother of your late husband after all. In any case, I did not want to wake you. The duties of a mother will exhaust you. I have heard you wish to take on many tasks for which tradition leaves to the nanny to tend to. You should try to sleep whilst you can. I must monitor both you and the child's conditions. I trust Doctor Gibson took care to maintain a sterile and clean environment for the birthing of your son?" Neville seemed patronizing and condescending treating her as an inferior mind.

Lilias responded, "How dare you deem yourself entitled here? Instead of asking me first yourself, your plan was to steal into here in the night? You may never enter into my room in this way again! I do not give you permission. How dare you snatch Colin from his cradle!

And as to Doctor Gibson, yes, of course. He's quite professional after many years as a physician and knows quite well all of the risks and dangers. Do you doubt my confidence in him?" Lilias's voice remained soft and musical in its tone, for she always spoke with gentility of vocal range but one knew the seriousness in her words. She found it more and more difficult to be civil towards Neville, for she blamed him for her husband's-Lord Archibald Craven's- death. She had no faith in him to care for little Colin.

It can be said that even upon learning of her pregnancy- even whilst Colin was forming in her womb-Lilias's maternal protectiveness over him was set strongly in her being.

"Is everything all right, Milady?" Medlock sounded genuinely concerned as she walked in upon a scene of Lilias's tears.

"Yes, Medlock. I had a nightmare. Dr. Craven was just...checking in on us."

When Lilias was left alone again with her newborn son, she continued to hold Colin whilst she was lying in her bed. In the next moment, she imagined Archie lying in bed with her in awe of their son and holding Lilias as she held Colin. She imagined herself relaxed against the comforting form of her husband with her baby in her arms.

God, the desire to have Archie really there with them overwhelmed her.

She swaddled Colin correctly again-as Neville had unwrapped him-and she held Colin ever so tenderly and gently.

"It's all right, my sweet Colin, my sweet little boy..." She cooed. She sang him a lullaby.

...

*Author's note:* I intend to take this story much further-Colin growing up, Colin asking about his father, introducing Mary into the story, Colin & Mary discovering the garden...But, this is all going to take some time to write, so thanks for your patience. Thanks to all readers and reviewers! I appreciate it!*


	8. Chapter 8

Weeks and months passed, and Lilias felt no less uncomfortable around Dr. Neville Craven. He had indeed left her a note of apology following the incident of his intrusion into her bedroom to examine Colin, but there was something in his words and his entire aura of being that made her shiver in fear. His tone always seemed sinister. Perhaps, she could no longer view him in a positive light after all his harsh and catastrophic experimental medicinal treatment of Archie, which Lilias knew ultimately led to his demise. He seemed a man of no redeeming qualities, and Lilias was a lady who always looked for the good in people. Could she even say she was appreciative of his maintaining the financial situation of Misselthwaite and overseeing the land of the estate was properly tended to and cared for? As for his personal character, she could not profess a kind word.

Medlock told Lilias there was a letter from India. As she eyed its contents, Lilias discovered her sister Rose had given birth to a baby girl-Mary. Not too many months after Lilias herself. Sadly, Lilias's marriage had caused a rift in their sisterly relationship.

Lilias wished she could meet her new niece, but nothing proceeding that information in the letter denoted of such a wish to return to England with the child to visit in the near future.

Lilias continued to cry out for her Archie each night either consciously or subconsciously or in dreams. Medlock grew accustomed to hearing her mournful sounds. Neville huffed in aggravation when he was disturbed from his sleep by her cries. Colin eerily would cry at the sound of his mother's sad tones.

One night, Neville Craven passed Colin's nursery just as Lilias was rocking and singing a beautiful lullaby. She looked and sounded like an ethereal being dressed in her delicate night robe. He imagined such a domestic scene inserting himself into the picture- wishing Colin was his son and Lilias his wife.

Each morning as Lilias dressed, she would stare at a portrait of her husband Lord Archibald Craven wishing her reality were not so-that she was not a widow. Of course, Colin was her source of joy now. Nanny and she took him out in the pram to a grassy bit of land just outside the courtyard and garden entryways. A blanket was laid upon the grass. It was a lovely spot for Lilias to read. Colin had begun to learn to crawl. Nanny and Lilias cheered sweetly as the baby pressed himself up so.

"Go on, my little angel! You can do it." Lilias doted.

Placed in his pram again, they strolled down the pathways.

Lilias tried to avoid Neville Craven, but he always seemed to discover her daily plans.

"Dear ladies, may I take the liberty of walking with you and my little nephew? My, it is only now I realize how fast he is growing.

"Yes, Dr. Gibson agrees that he is well and strong." Lilias answered.

"He'll be walking soon, no doubt."

Lilias bowed her head in agreement.

...

Since her husband Archie's death, Lilias's parents visited often inquiring as to her health and the health of their grandchild.

They dined with Lilias and Neville and after would retreat to the music room. Lilias would play her harp.

Her mother noticed the look on Neville's face as he watched her.

It seemed her mother could do nothing but compliment Dr. Neville Craven to Lilias. Lilias was suspicious of her mother's intentions.

Her mother had already begun to make statements that she should consider marrying again in the future-that Colin would need a father's guidance in addition to a mother's love.

She was indeed an overbearing woman who tried but always failed in swaying Lilias's opinions to her side.

...

That night Aisling entered Lilias's bedroom and found the mistress in quiet tears.

"Milady, is there anything I can do?" Aisling lay a gentle hand on the back of her shoulder in an effort to console her.

"Oh, it's nothing, Aisling. Mother was just in rare fashion tonight. I suppose you think it childish of me to speak of her that way... It's so overwhelming sometimes. How can she even speak of my marrying again? I have never and could never want anyone but Archie..Lord Craven. I suppose she thinks he is replaceable," Lilias grew passionate in her tone, "well, he is not replaceable to me!"

"You are a wonderful mother and a wonderful woman and you bear your agony with grace, and I admire you so much, Milady! Of course he is not replaceable. Hush now." Aisling soothed her though it probably was not what members of Lilias's class would consider Aisling's place to do so-cradling her Mistress maternally. Lilias and the ladiesmaid had grown to be the closest of friends during her servitude.


	9. Chapter 9

A good friend of Archibald Craven's-Sir Liam Brandonson-invited the Craven household to a Summer evening ball at his family home. Lilias would attend as well as Neville Craven. Neville would accompany Lilias out of the carriage and inside, so that Lilias would not remain unattended. At least, that was Lilias's view of accepting his arm as they entered. She had no romantic intentions of spending the evening at his side. She would dance with him if he so asked but that was all. She set off to converse with Sir Liam's wife, though not of a happy, sociable demeanor. In fact, this was her first outing past her year of mourning, but Lilias's bright-eyed disposition had not returned to her since her husband's death and seemed it would not. However, she had indeed always (and kept) her quiet, melodic, flute-like, soft speaking voice, but her eyes continued to hold a deep sadness.

Lilias saw Neville began to slurp down glass by glass of liquor. She wanted to keep her distance from him.

The servants at Misselthwaite told her Neville could be a brutal man when he drank.

Lilias later stood listening to the gorgeous sounds of the small orchestra. She closed her eyes, and in her mind she envisioned herself once more in the arms of her Archie. They were happy then, dancing ever so near to each other. Their eyes were full of love and devotion as they looked at each other.

During her daydreaming, Neville had crept up beside her.

"Would you care to dance, Lilias?"

Lilias was not sure that she could refuse him, as she was not otherwise engaged beyond her imaginings, so she hesitantly nodded.

To add injury to her discomfort and unease, it was a waltz that required a very close and romantic hold. Neville stared at her so intensely, almost lasciviously, as they danced. How she loathed him-both his gaze and his actions. He looked at her as if he wanted her as his possession-a woman to be subjugated to his desires alone; an eternal conquest. Did he think she could be harried into submission to his every command and all against her will? Her chest began to heave with anxiety. Lilias noticed Neville's gaze had wandered salaciously to the low-cut neckline of her gown. He must have noticed her uncomfortable breathing, but his focus was entirely predatory. His ogling made her nauseous. She felt so exposed, and her corset was too tight. She knew she could expect an admission of Neville's desire for her any moment. She mostly feared a proposal of marriage as her mother was very encouraging of it. She could not give Neville cause to think she wished it. In truth, it was the furthest thing from her wishes and desires. If Neville had need of a woman, it would not be her. He was nothing like his brother Archie. Neville was a narcissist, bold, proud, selfish, and sinisterly commanding. Archie was full of tenderness, kindness, and humility, gentle of heart, respectful, a man of integrity, principled, and comfortingly understanding. People had no reason to fear Archie, though they had judged him for his crooked back.

"Forgive me, I...please, excuse me." She escaped Neville's dance hold to retreat to another room.

She had not shut the door but hoped she would remain alone. It was a portrait gallery. She eyed the beautiful paintings of the Brandonson family tears in her eyes feeling trapped in a world in which she had hoped never to exist-a world without her Archie. She wanted to return home to her sweet son Colin.

Unbeknownst to her, Neville had indeed followed.

"Lilias, I must speak with you."

She gasped. His sudden voice frightened her.

"Would you do me the honour of accompanying me out into the garden? You look as though some fresh air would agree with you."

"Pardon me, Neville, but I really..."

He took her arm to guide her possessively out of the room to his desired location.

They stood outside in the Brandonson garden just off the terrace.

"Lilias, my feelings for you are very strong..."

"Neville, please don't..."

"My passion has always been for you and you alone since the first day Archie introduced you."

Lilias shook her head as if begging him to speak no more.

"A woman like you requires the love of a man; likewise a man needs a woman. I have ached for you since that first day. You are beauty itself. Please, if you would have me, I want you for my bride-my wife. I could be his father-the child needs a proper father, and you need a husband. Misselthwaite is our home. You can't carry on as you have. But a yes from you, and it is all arranged. I saw how your heart beat for me as we danced. How does it beat now? May I kiss you?" He did not wait for her answer. He reached to place his hand over her heart as if claiming proof of his previous observation and explanation but also took advantage of that guise to stroke her breast in the subtlest of ways as he pressed his mouth harshly against hers. These events transpired in a mere matter of seconds. His touch-an unwelcome attempt at seduction-made her stomach churn. She'd never been more uncomfortable than she was in this moment. Clearly the liquor had made its effects known.

"No. Stop!" She cried. Lilias wished she had her wrap to cover herself then but Neville had forced her out into the night air so quickly.

Sir Liam had just moments before stepped out into the garden himself.

He witnessed what he perceived was a disturbance.

"Neville, what is the meaning of this?" He growled at Neville in ferocious defense of Lilias's plea.

"Sir Liam... Only... I have made an offer of marriage to the Lady Lilias, and you have just witnessed her rejection of me. Good night." Neville bowed and left.

"Lady Lilias," Sir Liam spoke and flew to her side as he saw she was distressed, "are you all right? You are not harmed?"

"Yes, I am fine...I'm sorry...Sir Liam," her breathing was panicked in shock.

"Shhh. Make no apologies. Lady Eleanora shall see to it that you stay the night here in comfort."

Lilias agreed it was best she stay the night there but would rise early. She must return to Misselthwaite to her son.


	10. Chapter 10

Misselthwaite was Lilias's home. She created beautiful memories with Archie there. She could not let the awkwardness and dread of Neville being there and living there force her to give it up. She couldn't let Neville win. Her boy Colin was the rightful heir. She had hoped to find a way to banish Neville from Misselthwaite, but she would not yield-for her son's sake.

Lilias was in the nursery when her mother walked in and shut the door.

"I see you are returned."

Lilias was holding Colin.

"Is there anything you would like to discuss with me? Am I to understand you have lost your senses?"

"I don't know what you mean, Mama."

"Don't pretend. Am I to understand that Dr. Neville Craven offered you a proposal of marriage, and you refused him? Why in God's name would you ever do that?"

"I can think of a whole host of reasons, Mama: One-he is Archie's brother. I could never betray Archie in such a way-even in death. Two-he cares for nothing but his own pleasure and seems to delight in the emotional and physical discomfort and pain of others-myself included; his actions towards me last night were completely lecherous. You would not know, because you were not there, so I ask you to hear my side and believe me. He hides under a mask of good intentions-a well-kept disguise of his salacious behaviour; also this pleasure in the discomfort of others is quite ironic as his chosen profession should suggest otherwise. But, my third and fourth reasons are the most important: I genuinely believe he is responsible for my Archie's-his own brother's-death and hates our son Colin. He would ship him off to boarding school next year if he had the authority."

"No, I can't believe it. Surely, you are mistaken, daughter. Dr. Neville Craven is a remarkable man, a man of great prominence in the medical profession. His colleagues have great faith in him and seem to hold him in high esteem."

"So, still you take his side?" Lilias frowned.

Her mother continued, "Have you no understanding of the power he holds here? Your connection could be a prosperous and fruitful one; the ideal partnership for your future here...He adores you. He worships you."

"What you like to call adoration and worship is actually something much more sinister." Lilias placed Colin down to nap. "He has made his true character known to me, Mama. He would never treat me as his equal. I would be subjugated to his will alone-in everything. With my beloved husband no longer of this world, am I to be kept prisoner in his very house?"

"Lilias, be reasonable. Exaggeration is unbecoming. This is some sort of mad paranoia. You must calm yourself. Dr. Neville Craven would be as good a husband as any. A miserable widow has no right to expect better. We as women must endure and obey."

"I would like you to leave, Mama. Please. I'm tired. Please...just...go." Lilias spoke quieter.

As her mother was exiting, Lilias said,

"I am my own Mistress. I have no intention of ever marrying again."

"Then I tell you this, daughter. You are thinking only of yourself-not Colin. Archie is not coming back." Her mother slammed the door.

Lilias was holding back tears as she placed a kiss upon her son's head.


	11. Chapter 11

Lilias stayed with Colin in the nursery. She could only hope to try to sleep whilst her little boy did. She wished her mother had not brushed off so easily her reasons for not marrying Neville. She should have elaborated upon the numerous sinister circumstances of past meetings with Neville. She never told her mother the degree to which she now understood that Neville was jealous of Archie for his firstborn inheritance of Misselthwaite and now she knew for his marriage to her as well. She thought of those trial medical experiments he tested on Archie, and how he humiliated Archie in secret upon examination.

Lilias tensed when she recalled one evening before she and Archie were married and not yet courting when her family was invited to dine and stay the night at Misselthwaite. She and her family were told that Archie was indisposed and would not be joining them for dinner that evening. She got lost on the way from her designated room to the staircase and ended up in the wing to Archie's quarters. She discovered a scene which greatly distressed her. Neville and a pretty woman were there with the door left open in Archie's bedroom discussing Archie's condition. Lilias hid near the doorframe to listen in on what was happening. Archie was silent and completely asleep. Lilias heard Neville say he gave his brother a pain medicine similar to morphine for the chronic back pain and a sedative. Apparently, it was the first time the woman had met a hunchback, and she asked Neville if she could see Archie's back telling Neville she was interested in medicine. Neville clearly wanted to impress the woman by allowing and consenting to whatsoever she asked. He unbuttoned Archie's shirt to loosen it and turned Archie to his stomach raising Archie's shirt up as high as as possible to show the woman his rounded upper back and shoulder area.

"How extraordinary!" the woman exclaimed and then asked Neville if she could touch the deformity/hump in his brother's back and did so. "How peculiar and strange to the touch." She said.

Lilias was irate and could feel the anger boiling within her as she witnessed what they did to a defenseless, sleeping Lord Archibald Craven. She felt all of this was a blatant violation and such disrespect of Archie's body's privacy by Neville-his own brother-simply to be rewarded the favour of some beautiful woman. Archie was not awake and alert himself to grant such permission. She felt Neville was treating his brother like some circus curiosity to expose to others. Lilias was about to make her presence known when she heard the call of a maid looking for Neville to tell him dinner was served.

It seemed, so as not to be caught together there, Neville and the woman hurriedly left the room after quickly covering the crooked part of Archie's back, but they had not properly re-adjusted Archie's clothing completely as the skin of his mid and lower back was still exposed. They had not even attempted to reposition him. He still lay on his stomach.

After they had gone, Lilias quietly entered the room and ever so gently pulled Archie's shirt back down properly again. Sweetly, she turned his body ever so slowly back to his original sleeping position and tried to make him comfortable again with the most tender of touches and strokes of her hand as she moved him. Neville's violation of Archie's privacy made Lilias so sad and yet enraged that she risked the chance of Archie waking to find her there in his bedroom, simply to make him comfortable again. Tears were in her eyes as she swiftly left. She decided from that day that she did not like nor trust Dr. Neville Craven. She and Neville had not even been formally introduced yet, and she secretly loathed him from that moment on.


	12. Chapter 12

Lilias's dreams of Archie had not ceased for the passage of time. They became all the more haunting. Lilias more recently suffered from a sleep disorder-She had taken to sleepwalking through the halls of Misselthwaite-calling for her Archie.

Medlock was frightened out of her wits one night as she bore witness to it.

She woke the butler to follow. Lilias somehow exited the house and collapsed out on the moors.

Though Lilias had avoided Dr. Craven whenever possible since the night of his drunken proposal, Medlock called on him to attend to her.

He revived Lilias with a smelling jar, and she gasped loudly. She did not wish him near her.

She did not know why he was in her bedroom or that she was being observed for medical purposes.

"Medlock? Aisling? What's happened?"

"You were sleepwalking, Mrs., and ended up on the moor. God knows where you'd be if John hadn't followed you out there."

"Please, I beg you, no..." Lilias wanted to refuse Neville's aid.

"My dream was so real. I heard Archie calling to me. His voice grew closer and closer..."

"Lilias, stop this nonsense. Archie's gone! It is enough! Such talk will have you admitted to an asylum! Think about your boy!"

"Sir, I beg ye. Be gentle with her!" Aisling pleaded.

"Your Mistress is verging on hallucinating. Now is not the time for gentility!" Neville replied.

"I've begun research on an antidote-a concoction for sleep without dreams. I see I must administer it."

Lilias then beseeched him, "No, Neville, don't. I don't want not to dream. It's the only place I see Archie now. Please, let me dream."

"It's not safe for you!" Neville then stuck Lilias with a long needle syringe. Apparently, he had come prepared with the chemical formula in a vial.

"No." Lilias cried, and then relaxed though the tears streamed down her face.

Aisling began to cry quietly in one corner of the room.

Medlock and Dr. Craven exited the room for a private conversation.

"Dr. Craven, you've made the Mistress a poor, pathetic creature. Perhaps, Dr. Gibson would have been the better to treat her with dignity."

"She has lost her dignity, Medlock, by calling for my brother night and day! I can't bear it! It must stop. Someone's got to make her stop!"

"But, Sir, you can't limit her grief, because it's an inconvenience to and for you personally. I know you wish to marry her, and she has refused you. Have you not thought of returning to your practice in London? Find a good city lady there? She'll not have you."

"Medlock, I'll thank you not to meddle in my personal intimate affairs."

Neville scoffed, "And as you yourself have seen tonight, Medlock, Lilias's existing this way is quite dangerous and unhealthy!"


	13. Chapter 13

Days and months continued to pass, and Colin was a toddler.

Lilias lay on her side in her grand bed. She heard the clinking of the chain of the tapestry at the entrance to her bedchamber.

"Milady, Colin is crying for his dear Mama." The Nanny entered with a tear-stained Colin on her hip.

"My angel boy! Come to me." Lilias experienced a sparkle of a sweet moment in gloom.

She sat up gently and held her arms out. "Come. Come here. Sleep next to your Mama."

The Nanny brought the toddler to her and sat him down upon the bed. He crawled across the bed to his Mother's arms.

Lilias kissed him and kept her arms around him as he lay by her side.

In the morning, she carried Colin as she walked to her wardrobe. There was a secret compartment inside from which she withdrew a large, ornate photo album. She then returned to her bed and lay with her back propped against the headboard holding Colin as she opened it.

"Colin, I want to tell you a story. Once upon a time...Mama fell in love with Papa. She pointed at a photograph of Archie. This is Papa. See. He gave Mama a beautiful garden as a present! See the flowers." She turned the pages of the album.

"Oh, look. There's Papa being silly. Papa liked to make Mama smile." Lilias continued to turn the pages becoming teary-eyed. "Papa's dancing with Mama in the garden...oh, the animals are following Papa back to the house, a lamb, a squirrel, a rabbit...even a goose." Lilias giggled.

"Milady? Excuse me, Milady. It's time for breakfast."

"Oh, yes." Lilias responded.

Medlock carried a tray with food for Colin and Lilias.

"Allow me to..." Medlock paused to glance at the album as she took it from Lilias, " put this away for a moment, so you can eat."

Lilias concentrated on feeding Colin. The little boy was indeed hungry. He gobbled up the food.

"Will you not eat anything, Milady?" Medlock asked.

"In a moment, I shall. Thank you, Medlock."

"Nanny will be taking Colin to see the ducks at the pond on the outside of the house a bit later. Shall you be joining them?"

"Why, yes, of course. What does the duck say, Colin?" She asked her son in a playful manner.

Colin answered, "Quack, quack..."

Lilias's face lit up with a bit of joy, and she giggled joyfully at her son's response.


	14. Chapter 14

Over 3 years since Colin's birth, and Lilias had remained isolated from any prospect of courtship. Her mother's disappointment grew deeper with each passing day. She would not have her daughter live her life in seclusion. She tried to take matters into her own hands regarding introducing her daughter to an attachment once more. Her daughter may be a widow but a young, rich, and beautiful widow at that-qualities her mother hoped would soon attract the best of society's gentlemen. If she would not consider Dr. Neville Craven, then there must be someone else in London's society perhaps who she would consider courting. Her mother inquired in the best of society's circles asking after any eligible bachelors.

One such gentleman she invited to her home for an evening to meet Lilias-unbeknownst to Lilias herself. Her mother invited her daughter to visit and stay with her in London at the family's London home for a week.

Lilias arrived by carriage. Her mother greeted her from the doorstep and then frowned when she saw Lilias help little Colin down out of the carriage with her. She held his hand.

"I see you've brought the child." Her mother snarled.

"Of course," Lilias replied. "Why should I not bring _my_ child?"

"Well, I hope Nanny keeps him well-behaved. Go and change for dinner, my dear. I was due to expect you a bit sooner. Our gentleman guest will be arriving.

"Oh? A guest? Mother, I'm really quite tired from the journey."

"Precisely why you must feast to give you strength. I had my ladiesmaid lay something out for you to wear."

Lilias kissed Colin as the Nanny took him to his chamber away from her. He would have his Supper there.

Lilias entered her room to find the gown her mother wished her to wear and out of respect she would, but she thought it resembled a royal confection or frothy dessert. It was pale Mauve and Lavender in colour with layers of tulle-much too formal for a quiet dinner.

Lilias left her hair only half-pinned up, mostly long and loose. She would not have the maid spend time sweeping it up into a detailed style.

Lilias quietly entered the dining room. A gentleman rose from his seat and slightly bowed his head at her. She noticed a place was set for her next to him. He took her hand and kissed it.

"Tis a great pleasure to meet you, Lady Lilias."

Lilias bowed her head slightly in acknowledgement.

"Lilias, this is Sir Alastair Mayberry." She then paused glaring at her daughter.

"Darling, your hair." Lilias's mother was ready to insult her.

"Is there a problem, Mama?"

"Surely the gown is too formal for such an earthy, wild, spirited unkemptness. We're not in Yorkshire, and you're not a country girl, you're a lady."

"I quite like it, Madam." Sir Alastair spoke out to Lilias's mother to put an end to the negative commentary.

He continued, "I hope you enjoy your stay in London. There is much to see and do. How do you bear such solitude and isolation, surrounded by nothing but open lonely moors."

It must be terrible to be so far from civilization. I should go mad." Alastair began a conversation.

"My home in Yorkshire is dearer to me than any place in the world." Lilias responded.

"Oh, yes? Well, I shall have to be your tour guide here to convince you of all the city has to offer."

"I'm sure I'll never be convinced of such," Lilias answered. Her mother glared at her again as if to admonish her for her biting reply. Lilias had not intended to be rude; only she was exhausted and was not up for her mother's matchmaking ploys. It made her wearier.

Food was placed before them. Sir Alastair continued to gawk at Lilias.

"That's a very pretty brooch." He complimented her.

"Oh," Lilias touched it, "it was a gift from my Archie; that is, my husband- Lord Archibald Craven. Thank you. I quite cherish it."

Lilias's mother's fury was barely contained as she was losing patience with her daughter's manners this evening. God in heaven, she thought, why did Lilias insist on speaking of Archibald in the present tense. He was dead and gone! One more word from Lilias about him at this dinner, and her mother vowed to herself that she would strike her!

Lilias ate in silence.

"Are you musical, Sir Alastair?" Lilias's mother introduced a topic of conversation.

"I confess of only knowledge of the piano, but I have no singing voice..."

"My daughter Lilias plays the harp rather brilliantly. Sings beautifully too. She must show you."

"Would you, dear lady? I am famished for a concert." He giggled wittily.

"If that is your wish, sir." She spoke sweet-voiced but with sadness.

When they had retreated to the music room, Lilias took her place at the harp.

She played a list of haunting yet angelic tunes. At the end of one particular composition, tears streamed down her face.

Sir Mayberry offered her his handkerchief.

"You play such a delicate instrument with such intensity of feeling. I understand your emotion." Sir Mayberry reacted.

"No, only...I...uh..." Lilias paused to softly sigh and breathe a moment through tears. "My apologies, Sir. I was some place else in my thoughts."

"Well, I suppose it is late, and you are tired from your journey today. I think it's best if I say goodnight to you now and bid you a good sleep. You must rest. But, can I trouble you to walk with me to the exit of your beautiful home here?" He wanted the two of them to escape the prying eyes of her mother to finish talking.

Lilias silently acquiesced.

"Sir, I understand if I have not made a very good impression upon you, and it would only make perfect sense if you no longer wish to call here. You see, I fear I'd be a poor companion to any man...I don't know what my mother has offered you or what hope she has given you-your intentions for any future reward of sorts-but I love my husband even in death, and I shall not seek to nor will I love another. It may seem rather coarse and unrefined of me to speak so frankly, but there it is. Forgive me."

"Kensington Gardens," Gentleman Mayberry seemed to just brush over or ignore everything Lilias just said.

"I beg your pardon? What?" Lilias thought him crazed.

"Your mother has informed me that you love gardens. Will you join me there tomorrow? I've already promised your mother a tour."

"I must apologise again, sir, for I've discovered gardens to be quite taxing on my senses. I suffer from allergies of late." Lilias lied.

"Pity. You possess the beauty of a Rose, and the grace of a Lily. A garden seems your natural habitat."

Lilias uncomfortably smiled. She was not one for poetic declarations. In actual fact, her words to him this evening were never very graceful. It only made her the more ashamed and embarrassed.

"You flatter me greatly, Sir. I'm sorry to have spoiled your plans and your evening. I wish you goodnight. She slightly curtsied."


End file.
